Friday, August 15, 2014

Humor: the best things about getting a radical hysterectomy are...

So, I usually try to address stressful situations with a little humor. For example, I almost started crying when I was going into surgery. Everyone was so serious. Too many people were telling me to relax. It was upsetting. So when I was wheeled into the surgery area, I noticed the lighting looked like a dance hall. I told my surgeon, so I'm at a disco! He smiled and patted me on the shoulder. My anesthesiologist gave me the oddest look.
A day after surgery, a pastor came to check on me. She was quite concerned about how I was feeling. She was thrown when I explained how relieved and grateful I was. She didn't understand why I was happy. I explained about how my cancer was caught at an early stage, how I had a healthy child, how I had a healthy happy marriage and a good work environment to look forward to returning to... and she said to me "I could learn about happiness from you." I didn't see her again.
I've been trying to create lists in my head as I go through Tomotherapy, radiation, every day. As I mentioned, I try to distract myself a little in stressful situations. Tomotherapy is stressful to me. Go into a tube and get scanned and then have a bunch of rays shooting into me probably giving me many side effects and without knowledge of the success of the procedure, it is stressful. So, the other day, I started making lists for myself.
Here's one:
The best things about getting a radical hysterectomy are:
1. You appreciate the ability to pee. Brings you back to basics.
2. You're bedridden for weeks, reading is a beautiful distraction, so are tv shows!
3. No worries about getting pregnant.
4. No more pads to purchase.
5. No more birth control pills, saves money all the way around.
6. You get to meet new people and talk about your bowel movements and have your weight and blood pressure taken up to 5 times in a day.
7. You have a lovely bikini line scar.
8. You can be alone during recovery for long periods of time. How often are you alone with your thoughts?
9. You can let go a little and have experts tell you to eat well and check on you...
10. No exercise for quite a while. (Ok, this sucks, I miss yoga and Zumba and swing dancing and was really hoping to return to it this fall since my hip was feeling better...)

So... there's one way I deal with negative, turn to positive...

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