You're turning the corner, I know it is hard

Love my lunch duty time because I can see
such beautiful living things.

I haven't thought about writing much recently. This week has been a little challenging for me. I'm so grateful I had the previous week off. This past week I had 4 evening activities. Two were "goodbye" dinner events which are really hard for me. I don't enjoy goodbyes. I feel socially awkward in them usually. These two events though included some really interesting conversationalists and also some dear friends sitting close which made them special... and a little harder in a way. I was pretty much plugging my way thru each work day with patience. I love school. I've mentioned this before. I love students... they gift me energy and love...

For now though, I'm just fatigued. I've been dealing with some disturbing sleep patterns that I haven't had before where I fall asleep but can't sleep more than an hour at a time without waking up. And falling back to sleep is harder that I've experienced before. And the dreams I'm having are weird and vivid where I'm working out someone else's worries and concerns. For example: One dream I've been having for multiple days is about a woman who did testing on whales of some sort and realized that the testing was emotionally disturbing them so they were beaching themselves. I dreamed about the aftermath where she was heartbroken and having to defend herself. ... so just weird. So serious.
I'm taking it easy and napping a little bit since I'm in the middle of a beautiful long weekend.

Student led conference included science electricity demonstration.

My kiddo is having a terrific weekend... a little time with me and a chance to go to a movie together (Tomorrowland- pretty heavy handed with message but decent enough flick) and enjoyed a little time together but he's mostly away at wonderful friend's homes at sleepovers. Glad my husband and I organized them. Kiddo told me today he just cannot wait to move home to Oregon but he regrets that all these good friends he has now will be left behind... glad he's so reflective, good kiddo.
My husband is away in the Philippines scuba diving, really happy for him... glad he has this opportunity. Miss him though, been a long while since we've been apart for days.

I've had a little time to watch the Hay House World Summit movies... E-Motion, The Shift, and The Tapping Solution are the ones I watched today. Such interesting creations reflecting on the emotional state... appreciate them. They're free for around one more week. Hooray for free healthy resources. Grateful.  https://www.hayhouseworldsummit.com/lessons/the-tapping-solution/
http://www.thetappingsolution.com/

Trying out tapping actually started to distract me from my frustrating side pain and stomach pain I've been consistently having. I also started having back pain, perhaps because of all the bed rest. I went to get a massage (one more prepaid massage left!) and the therapist said to me "so you're getting fat". I chuckled at this for a while. Told her that I actually am trying to gain weight and that my Dr. is concerned that I'm not gaining weight. She was astounded. Funny how someone who works on bodies would state this or be surprised. I carry my weight in my legs, that's where she was looking. Still funny to me. Told a friend about it and she told me about how when she lived in Ghana it is traditionally the greatest compliment for someone to say that you are fat... that would be quite the thing to get used to!

Went to my oncologist yesterday and he told me I should be feeling better. That he thinks I've reached the turning point of this last round of chemo... shall see. Love that he also said "I know it is hard for you" and did the heavy hand pat on my back on my way out of his office, he's a good guy, shall miss his support. I can tell that I'm better than a week ago but the pain in my side is really distracting me, can't just ignore it sometimes... and no way to massage the area.

Was interesting when someone asked me the other day if I ever slow down. I didn't realize I was giving that impression of busyness anymore. I'm still blogging and working but really, I'm so much slower and more purposeful with where I put forth my energy... not sure why it came up. Maybe the person was trying to measure herself to me? Doesn't really matter. I told her that this whole diagnosis experience has made me slower and careful about pacing myself...

My dog can still hear loud thunder and lightning.
There have been many storms recently. Poor girl.

I'm working on the transition moving home. My important things were to connect with an oncologist in the US and get insurance for the few months I'm not covered by either job. I figured out insurance now and also contacted the oncologist I feel confident going to see... I have a load to "to do" things to do here before we move like getting a background check done with the Hong Kong police to show I'm clear when I'm back in the US... also I have to deal with various financial things- taxes, retirement paperwork, and more. Trying to just pace myself and get things sorted carefully. Things will work out eventually...

A friend shared this link on Facebook, really interesting to see which organizations own organic brands... kind of mind boggling.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/graphics/business/organic-brands/

Well, thanks for journeying with me. I'm taking things day by day as always... reaching deep in my toolbox for what will help me. Happy I am trying out tapping again. Happy days to all...

Health- More Alternative Practices and Music

Note- I wrote this part 2 weeks ago! Just wasn't ready to share it, but loved every minute and have thought about this interview many times since:
I appreciated listening to this interview with Rae Leung by my wise friend Reenita who has written numerous books on Ayurvedic medicine and also a fantastic young adult book called Operation Mom that I thoroughly enjoyed and recommend to others.
http://podcast.rthk.hk/podcast/item_epi.php?pid=363&lang=en-US&id=38781

http://podcast.rthk.hk/podcast/item_epi.php?pid=363&lang=en-US&id=38976

Not only did I appreciate the interview but I also enjoyed the music that was mixed throughout the interview. Powerful thoughts and messages. I found that much of what Rae Leung, the person interviewed, had to say about her Cancer journey were things I agreed with... It was interesting to hear more about how she went to try out Bioresonance and Tapping/EFT. Interesting. Heartbreaking. Understandable.
*Loved that her #1 lesson was to learn how to be more patient... I really can appreciate this.
Learned about how she ran a project here a few years ago in Hong Kong: http://www.raerity.com/CWord/CWord.html - Looks interesting.
"When I look at cancer, I don't want to think of it as a battle, because that puts us in a combative mode every day. That creates too much stress, too much anxiety. Just to psych ourselves up for a fight every day? Then we're constantly struggling. And I don't feel like I'm struggling at all... I don't see it as a battle. I see it as an existence... And that's where I see pain can creep in and negative stressful signals can creep in..." - powerful reflection to think on.

India Arie - I am not my hair:

Melissa Ethridge - I run for life:

I sat back and looked into a few things this week. 

I am appreciating this Jewish Mindfulness Program:

https://mishkan.org/elul-week-three-forgiving-ourselves-forgiving-others

I looked into Tapping or EFT/Emotional Freedom Technique. Interesting practice. Going to see what works, fits, feels right. My good friend, cancer survivor, told me tapping really helped her deal with chemotherapy and the side effects. Think I haven't formed this as a routine yet.

Also looking further into Qigong, I need breathing exercises... must retrain my lung! (Since I wrote this, I've had two qigong sessions by a talented, thoughtful instructor at my apartment, really is a good practice, well worth the time and routine to get into.)

Finally, present day:
Every day in the morning I wake up dying to drink water... but I stop myself. I go into the bathroom and dump 2 teaspoons of coconut oil in my mouth and do 10-15 minutes of pulling. It should be more like 20 minutes but that just doesn't work out quite right yet. Then I do my swishing/gargling from the doctor- a mix of sea salt and baking soda. Plus many report that their teeth deteriorate with chemo so if pulling helps? Heck yeah, I'll do it. No fun but part of my routine. Anything I can to prevent mouth/lip/throat sores, the better. I then drink squeezed lemon in warm water with my chinese herbal medicine... every morning. There's other routines I'll share on another day.
Never heard of pulling before? You're not alone. It was new to me...
Here's a little info on it:
http://authoritynutrition.com/oil-pulling-coconut-oil/

http://edition.cnn.com/2014/08/06/health/oil-pulling/

Pulling- Months ago I asked my dentist his opinion and he said, go for it, it doesn't hurt but I don't personally believe it helps much either. So... going for it.
Happy New Year to my friends celebrating Rosh Hashanah! I wasn't at services this year but took time to reflect upon the year and appreciate all the good things that have happened. Important to do!