Saturday, December 5, 2015

Waking up happy can be a good thing

Birthday girl with her cupcake sweater- couldn't get the cupcake
earrines in the shot, sigh... Hi to my great brother-in-law as well...
So, it has been almost two months since I began my immunotherapy, tumultous months with the stinking feeding tube added in.
Last week my friend, thanks Catherine!, found me the powdered version of pocari sweat, happy day, saves money, reduces plastic bottles, thrilled... I'm still taking in Gatorade as well... I'm so happy to be avoiding dehydration for two weeks now, it is a relief. NO bags of fluid going into my veins, hooray!! If I could say the same for the constipation and coughing I'd be thrilled but I'm working on those.
I was able to go to work all this past week which I know isn't a big deal, but for me... it was. I so enjoy having enough stamina... and also am resting at the end of each day a huge amount.
It was fun to see family this week for my sister's birthday (Happy Birthday Rachel!!!) and was weird at the same time to not see my parents after consistently during the week after having them help me so often during past weeks. Grateful for their support.

I'm thrilled it is December but also overwhelmed since my kiddo has a big birthday next weekend... he's such a big boy and growing so fast. So grateful to be here for it...

Today was a good day. Sure I still needed a mid-day rest. Sure I still am exhausted. I did get Nivolumab this morning with my friend Catherine. We had a good time chatting... it was the first time in a while I could actually have a sustained conversation, such a relief to be able to communicate! I also got to find some medicine that my naturopathic dr. suggested for the cough and stamina as well.

When I woke up this morning I had the realization that I now can sleep on my back again. I've been unable to do this for months- since the tumor in my back created such pressure I was in pain even lying down that way. I am taking Advil on a regular basis as my gastro-enterologist recommended, might be that reason... BUT Could this mean that the tumor is shrinking? I should hope so. Nivolumab, do your best please. I'm trying to pave the way!
I'm trying to eat. I can take little baby/bird bites and water in between and can get 1/8 of what I used to into my body- leads to a good takeaway container but still I'm not "eating" like I'd dream of... shall see. I do now weigh in at 122 pounds... super exciting, over 120 again is a start towards healthy!!

I'm working to take quiet time, meditation time, restful moments. Sometimes that's hard because all I want to do is zone out and watch a tv show, but I'm trying.

Love my mom...
I found out that my oncologist wants to do a PET scan, sigh. I was really hoping for a CT but ok. I'm scheduled for this Thursday to get one done. PET scans suck to be honest... fasting, isolation, needles, but I'll get thru yet another one- 2nd one here in Oregon, 5th one overall I've had...
The following Tuesday I'll see my oncologist and go over the results of the test. Here's hoping for good ones. I won't go alone (my mom will come, she is very good at hearing EVERYTHING said). Never again will I go alone to an appointment with PET scan results. Learned my lesson on that last August.

Well... going to rest again now. Read a few good books recently and am loving an audiobook I'm listening to... I was stuck in another one and not enjoying it- solution? Take a break.

Wishing everyone a wonderful holiday season. Hanukah snuck up on us, can't believe it begins tomorrow night. Kiddo is thrilled of course. I'm just struggling to wrap presents for family in other states and think out mailing them, etc. It was fun to sort out what I bought for the holidays since I hadn't thought much about it since July. I do plan gifts way in advance...

Thanks for journeying with me!


  1. So much hope and progress here! You had more stamina than I did! :))

    1. :) Thank you... Happy holidays to you! :)

  2. This sounds like progress to me! You are so inspiring, brave, amazing and honest! I send (gentle) hugs your way.

    1. Thank you Betty, yes, even baby step progress is a good thing. :)

  3. I love what I am reading here Debbie. Your posts are always strong with hope. I wish you continued weight gain and steps toward wellness. Sending you love, hugs and doggy kisses from spirit Xena.

    1. Thank you so much. Much love your way. Thinking about you and sending many hugs your way and snuggling with Dulcie extra...

  4. Found your blog while searching information about mets cancer. I am dealing with stage four sarcoma cancer on my right lung. The tumor is too big to have surgery and it touches the hilum vein already..rather frustrated and felt hit by lighting as my xray was cleared last year..

    1. Look into immunotherapy. Nivolumab is approved for lung cancer.
      Speak up.
      Find the oncologist that will help.
      I no longer have the option of surgery as stage 4 is when they don't want to perform surgeries any longer... Very frustrating. It can be quite a blow when you have a scan that is reassuring and then another one that blows you away... best wishes.

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  6. Sending big Hugs your way and looking forward to seeing you on Dec. 16!