Tuesday, October 7, 2014

Not so muddled thoughts

Taking breaks actually creating a little art has been nurturing. Glad I'm trying #Inktober where you create art with ink, doesn't have to be something complicated, each day in October. I like daily challenges like this, gives me a little focus and let's face it folks, I like focus... if you hadn't noticed that about me already.

So grateful for Give Forward fundraiser, relief is palpable. Thank you x 1000 to my friend Erika for pushing me to be open to gifts and to all who have gifted with words, support, and financially. Overwhelmed but appreciative....

Chemo effects from 3rd session of 12. I'm not sure how I feel about things at the moment. A little different than last two session reactions which I'll accept, it was a two medicine session so each week will be a little different. I was surprised to have not so much nausea. Instead I'm dealing with upset stomach, scalp freaking out, three crazy itchy mosquito bites from 4 days ago- they're easing up a little bit thank goodness for calamine lotion I'd forgotten I bought- normally I get welts with every mosquito bite but with my healing being inhibited by drugs the biggest welt actually got a blister... crazy, and a dry bloody nose - not bleeding- learned that I should... not blow my nose! Fabulous....

Honestly I'm also dealing with a little anger. My best friend was relieved that when we Skyped I wasn't as positive and happy as usual. I won't go into what made me angry but it is justified and I'm figuring out how to manage addressing the conflict so that it won't hang over my head. Not worth my worry a few years from now, so just trying to address and deal. As many who know me well I do have a few control issues and have worked to learn how to let go a little... sometimes that backfires.

Chatted with my wonderful life coach and got the BEST advice from her, besides figuring out how to get my bottom into the chemotherapy chair every week, how to calm myself at night... this is something I already have done in the past but I just hadn't done it in the evening! Are you ready for what gave me a good night's sleep for the first time in almost two months? Drumroll... Legs up the wall. Yep. Place a yoga mat on the floor next to the wall, put your legs up the wall with your bottom against the wall... hooray. Deep breathing, meditation, and a little quiet thinking helped me relax. 20 minutes later I quietly climbed into bed and actually fell asleep. Amazing. Much better to try this vs. resorting to sleep medication! Learned that if you have high blood pressure you can't do this though, careful my friends...

Enjoying qi gong still... appreciating the energy focus, health focus, and friends who attend...
One friend told me tonight that I should investigate answers to some of my health issues online... so grateful for the reminder. Found that my scalp issues occur with so many people who are dealing with chemo. I know I'm not the only one but wow to the resources once you start looking. After sorting thru many, I appreciated the tips for scalp issues here:
http://cincovidas.com/chemo-side-effect-red-painful-welts-on-my-scalp%E2%80%94what-can-i-do/
But of course will check in with my oncologist on Saturday about new not-so-fun symptoms as well...
Also trying out drinking brown rice water to help my stomach calm down a little. Shall see how that goes now that I'm going to drink it three times a day. I do so love drinking horchatas but this certainly wasn't. No added sugar and a little cinnamon does not a horchata make... but shall accept shortcomings if I can feel a little better.

Here are a few of my little #Inktober sketches, makes me happy to pick up a sketch pad again. Funny that I was never far from one all through my life until I was around 22... found a similar sketch pad to one I used to scribble in all the time, nice to have a different outlet for expressing thoughts. Just having fun with pen/markers... haven't felt like drawing on my iPad, etc... a drawing pad is enough for me!

I love my dog... watching her peacefully sleep is a new way for me to pass the time, always so grateful for her companionship...

I used to have a hedgehog... still slightly obsessed about them but I'll NEVER own one again. They are disgusting creatures... *I loved my little one and treated him very well... but NEVER again. There's a kid's story there, I'm working on sorting it out in my mind presently...


A special friend requested that I try out drawing a horse in honor of her birthday... used to draw unicorns all the time as a kid, I was one of those unicorn daydreamers, but this was... ok.


I love "Dot Day" each year and a friend asked me if I'd created my dot for this year yet... no I hadn't... grateful she suggested it, was fun to think about what represented me presently but also it was odd because the picture reminded me of my school's logo...


A good friend and I shared a birthday, she brought me flowers when we spent our birthday afternoon together... loved them, good challenge to get on paper.





6 comments:

  1. ah, see, the angry inktober day may serve you well. . . :) Love reading your posts, Debbie, studying your determination and grace.

    Am here, rooting for you. <3

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  2. Debbie---Your posts are my wonderful pause in each and every day. You are a very special human being. I am thankful you were able to sleep. I am here for you across the miles and a mouse click away.

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    1. Thank you... appreciate the closeness across the miles. Hugs your way.

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  3. Hey! Love the art! :) Can't wait for a book version at some point!! Love you mountains!

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