Radiation Plans plus Pacing

I love being back at school. I do not love the morning wake up. It is wonderful to see students again, colleagues, and have the chance to tackle projects... It is fun to teach and my colleages haven't pushed with expectations (thank goodness)- I'm teaching classes and appreciating a little work time here and there to do cataloging and projects.

We made a big decision that I shared on my other blog but not here yet... we are going to move back to Oregon in July. This is a very positive decision even though we are going to miss so many friends, connections, life here in Hong Kong... We know that without this third cancer diagnosis we'd be in a different place... but we're happy and excited about the changes, especially my son.

Now that I know we're headed home, I'm addressing all the projects around the library that have been put off. I want there to be a smooth transition with my replacement stepping in to that gorgeous setting without anything piled up...

Today my husband and I went to see the very negative radiologist. My husband has actually forgotten about meeting him before, I think this is because neither of us want to remember conversations with him, the most blunt person I've ever experienced... and I'm pretty darn blunt. I disliked all my past appointments with him but one thing is for sure, once I met with him, I felt confident that avoiding the local hospital was a good idea. This round of radiation is risky and worrisome and I do not want to risk my life in any way. The local hospital oncologist told my husband and I that he didn't think the radiologists would even be willing to radiate the area that needs treatment...

So. Radiation is next. This Saturday is my final (for now- 2 later) chemo treatment, just one drug, getting thru them. Not pushing myself. No fainting, a few moments of tiredness where I realized I needed to slow down but overall, getting thru work and home life. I'm taking advantage of elevators at work. Not walking the stairs as much. Walking up stairs tires me out more than anything else.
Radiation plan- much more money than past two experiences. This time the radiologist wants to go for six weeks of treatment. 30 LONG days...
Here's what he shared:
I have a connective tissue disorder, rheumatoid arthritis, that has created issues in the past. The first round of radiation for cervical cancer had to be ended early because of this. The second round for breast cancer wasn't shortened at all though... He's concerned with my ability to successfully get through this round since it is 6 weeks long, 5 days a week... and there could be "nasty reaction" to radiation since it could compromise my heart, lungs, esophagus, trachea, spinal cord... there could be significant side effects, especially my lungs since the radiation will be going through it. The area I'll have radiated is called the mediastinum... He said with the 6 weeks it would be 5400 radiation dose, normally the 6 weeks is a 6000 radiation dose but because of my connective tissue disorder he wants to be careful and do less.
Side effects he listed at this time are: fatigue, possible damage to important areas of body like heart and lungs, appetite decrease... I can work throughout the treatment though... the hospital is down the street from my school. For the last two rounds I walked for 14 minutes (timed it to a "t") checked in, had radiation, walked up to the other area outside the hospital where either I'd take a bus home - drops me off right near our apartment- or take a taxi if there isn't a terribly long line... Shall see how I do for this round.

My oncologist wanted to possibly have more radiated beyond the tumor which surprised me quite a bit. (supraclavicular regions) It was something new. The radiologist didn't want to do this due to my connective tissue disorder, I'll be checking with my oncologist when I see him on Saturday about this. It would be radiating my neck area on both sides... Hmm.

Here's some of the quotes from the radiologist I took down:
"We are trying to reduce the chance of cancer spreading.... Although, the chance of it spreading in your current diagnosis is high.... The objective of treatment is to control cancer and maintain your quality of life.... Chemo isn't curative for cervical cancer.... There is no cure for your stage of cancer..."

Gee thanks, thrilled to meet with you. Great for my attitude... and my husband's... not. Wasn't looking for a cure, moved beyond that word a long while ago...

I know my husband and I are both focused on the tumor at hand. Reducing it, getting rid of it. I know there are cancer cells bouncing around in my body. Obviously. They showed up in my lung for goodness sake. I also know that I'm trying my best to stay positive and have healthy practices with preventative practices as well...
Yup.
That's what I have to share today.

Enjoying the week at work... tired... glad I had qi gong last night with friends, learned a few new exercises that will be useful. Think my instructor is fantastic.
Thanks for keeping up on the journey with me, know I've been a little more quiet but honestly embracing my time at work and treasuring my time at home as well. Balancing in writing and journaling when I feel like doing so...