Tenatively working, very carefully...

Well.
Went to a memorial today for a beautiful person. Broke my heart and lifted me at the same time.
I gave in a little to my body. Was concerned in the morning because I was a little too shaky for my liking, so I stayed home for a few hours and then went to a work meeting. It was a wise choice. I needed it... really trying to read what is going on, sometimes it is too hard though.
I've been in a bit of heck for three days. Seem to have turned the corner today.
So. Word of warning my friends. A gross one, sorry.
When you haven't gone #2 in 2 weeks, having the problem resolved can be very, very, very painful.
My oncologist looked like she wanted to put me in the hospital when I told her I'd been constipated for a little too long. She was upset. Gave me prescriptions and I followed her directions. What followed totally sucked. But it worked by the 3rd day and now I'm doing better. NEVER NEVER NEVER my friends, NEVER let constipation go so far. Seriously. I'll just say that I felt like I was giving birth in a way NO ONE should EVER experience. Scared my husband with the pain sounds I had (didn't realize he was home, thought I had a little time to myself to just yell, poor guy).
So, that's enough of that. One of the prescriptions I'm on gives this side effect, so I'll be taking yet more medicine to avoid for the future (plus natural stuff too). Blech. Unfortunately, swallowing still sucks. So so good that I have a feeding tube. When I got the prescription the other day, I tried to swallow the pills. That was hard. Now I'm crushing them and putting them in my feeding tube. Whatever works. Poor body is way too tired of pills, I'll respect that. I'm very tired of pills as well.

But at least my muscles had mostly recovered from the other pain from the feeding tube so they could help me vs. hinder the situation further.
Sigh.
I am sort of feeling stronger. Think I was shaky this morning because of the final evening of heck, feeling a bit better now.
Hoping for a stronger Friday/weekend. Shall see!

I'm very excited for my second dose of Nivolumab this Saturday. My sister will be with me which always brightens my day. A year ago she was with me helping out with chemo treatment in Hong Kong. So happy to be home and a quick text/message/phone call/visit away now.

My oncologist wants to have me go thru a scan after 2 months, which is 4 doses. Shall see. I'm picturing my immune system working the right way and those darn cancer cells dying and tumors shrinking.

Good news? Monday I got on the scale and it said 119. HALLELUJAH! Still gaining weight... Shall see what it is tomorrow. Might be a little lighter after those few days of heck this week, but never know.

Thanks as always for journeying with me. Appreciating the time I'm at work, home, visiting with people... so grateful for every day and all the beautiful support I receive...