Thursday, July 2, 2015

Whack a Mole, Results Not Terrific

I am impatient.
It has been days.
I've been distracting myself.
Getting rid of stuff. Packing. Sorting. Selling items.
But I just want the clear scan results now.
I told myself today, at this time tomorrow, you'll know.
Didn't help my mind wandering.
There's so many what if's that have to be redirected at this time to the positive mantras.
Deep breath.
Calm thoughts.

Doesn't help that my wonderful husband is gone in the Philippines this week. Miss him tremendously.
There were complications while he was there and I'll be glad to simply get him home in one piece...

Results are tomorrow.
Hair is still growing in.
Eyebrows and eyelashes as well.
Stamina ebbs and flows. Mostly I'm overwhelmed by heat and humidity... Exhausts me as it does any normal person.

Thank you for the prayers, good wishes, and hope.
Received good news about work for me... will share once more official.
Grateful my husband is home in mostly one piece.
He was able to be there during the results appointment.
Well. The radiation and chemo cleared up the two worrisome areas- lung clear, lymph node near heart clear. (Clean and clear is pleasant to hear...)

Unfortunately, I have two new tumor sites.
That means two new cancer tumor areas.
One in chest cavity behind my lung by my back- on another lymph node.
One in my right adrenal gland beneath my liver.

My oncologist said that in Oregon he wouldn't recommend standard chemo since I had such a hard time the last two treatments. He thinks I might qualify for new therapy trials and would highly recommend I look into immunotherapy.

We asked if we stayed in Hong Kong what my oncologist would plan, he said radiation to the two new tumor areas to control growth but not to cure it.

So. Next? Going to see my new oncologist in Oregon the week after we move home. Have records, transfer papers and more...

Presently? In shock. Disappointed. Not too surprised. Sucks though. Cancer sucks. Feeling strong, just a little pain in my back (found out that's pretty much where one of the new tumors is located.) Wish it were different results.

My husband says that stage 4 cancer is like playing whack-a-mole. I agree.

Thanks as always for journeying with me... have a feeling this journaling is going to be continuing for quite some time...


  1. I don't think my last comment took, but on rereading see Doug was home when you got the news. Thank goodness for small (huge) favors. The rest of my comment stands. <3

    1. XXX... agreed, grateful he was able to be there with me... Hugs your way.

  2. First: *really* happy that the lung and lymph node near heart are clear! Second: the whack-a-mole descriptor is so right-on. Stupid cancer. Beaming you molto, molto loverino, as . . . onward . . . xxxxxx

    1. Agreed, stupid cancer.... thanks for the love! :)

  3. I am focusing on the amazing news that your lung and and lymph node near heart are CLEAN and CLEAR!!! It tells me that your treatments are working, and there is still much hope! Two new tumors---glad they were caught early so oncologist can blast those away, too. I wish you were seeing the oncologist sooner, though. Fight on and stay strong, Debbie! —Salina

    1. Thank you... I agree, shall see how things go in Oregon. Not too long before I see the oncologist. :)

  4. Love hearing all the positive results. Wishing you strength and perseverance for all the rest.

    1. Thanks Deb, looking forward to catching up and working together again! :)

  5. Wow, clean and clear in lung and near heart is HUGE. SO GRATEFUL your body is responding. Wish your other results were different too. What happened to Doug??? Sending you lots of love and healing wishes as you head back to Oregon. XXXOOXX

    1. I agree, wish other results were different. So glad Doug is healing. Many hugs your way... xxxoxoxox

  6. Dearest Debbie~
    Hip Hip Hooray for the positive results. You needed to hear this after everything you have endured. And I am so happy you have good news about a job at home in Oregon. The two new cancer sites totally sucks. Damn this disease. Damn it all! I know this doctor in Oregon will give you everything you need. I hope with all my heart to see you here in the states. Sending you loads of love and prayers and doggy kisses from Xena.

    1. Agree, damn cancer. Yes, the new doctor should be quite helpful, will see soon! Looking forward to seeing you someday sooner than later. Many hugs to you and snuggles with Xena... :)

  7. Sending mucho mojo to whack those new cancer moles right to the stars...xoxox

    1. Yes, whacking the cancer and appreciating the strength/recovery of my body!