Cut me a break darnit

Hair is growing out more!

Warning.
One of my most scattered posts.
Mainly because I've treated it as a quick journal over a few days and this is the first day I've had wifi. Hooray for that finally getting installed after 2.5 weeks being home!

Saturday- Well.
I'm waiting for Monday's appointment with a cardio thoracic surgeon and Tuesday's appointment with the radiation oncologist. I'm extremely frustrated with a few things lately. Like how records couldn't be passed to the two specialists until today. And then the radiation oncologist's office calls and tells me that they don't have the proper records. And when I call Hong Kong about this, I get a PDF that I need to fill out, mail back, pay on the phone record request forms costs, and then in 9-15 days I'll receive the records. Seriously. Cut me a break.
I did my research. Got very excited about one study. Only to find out that my breast cancer is a conflict and eliminates me from the study. I talked to another person who mentioned the same thing. Another place I didn't find the protocol appropriate, neither did my new oncologist... so that rules them out. And I'm finding that my oncologist was right, there isn't much in the way of immunotherapy treatments for cervical cancer (even though there is a specific one, I just don't qualify for it.) I'm NOT giving up though.

Saturday- I haven't been feeling myself for around 3 days. Pain in my back and chest is a little worse and my stomach is a bit of a nightmare. I'm trying to deal. Trying to stay strong and positive. But some days, I just want a stinking break.
Tuesday- **Update from this- OOPS, missed taking a pain pill for two days, that'll do me in... go into withdrawal- not recommended... add in stomach flu? terrible situation for anyone.

Glad to be back in Oregon so that if family are concerned about me saying I don't feel well they can drop by and check in with me vs. communicating via email/Skype. Beautiful to be so close to my mom, dad, sister and brother in law- plus so many wonderful friends as well.

Really appreciated reading this article:
http://www.bamradionetwork.com/edwords-blog/what-teachers-with-chronic-illnesses-wish-our-principals-knew
It has so much that I agree with. I went thru a few things that I decided not to share publically but if people read this article it would be helpful for understanding what anyone with a chronic illness experiences/thinks.

Monday- Ok... 
I have been a little distracted.
Too many things going on but in a mostly ok way.
Talked with another person in charge of a study I thought had possibility today and thanked her for not just saying "NO". What a relief. She said, "Oh, we try to help all people interested." Lovely attitude.

I went to see the cardio thoracic surgeon today and received no answers and a bunch of confusion.
Here's some confusing things:
1. The lymph nodes tumor in my chest near my heart isn't all cleared up apparently, but smaller... but the surgeon said the PET scan might be incorrect since it takes a while for radiation to finish what it is doing.
2. He doesn't totally agree that the tumors are metastatic cervical cancer, he thinks they could possibly be lung cancer (seriously?) I was really thrown by this one.
3. If it is metastatic cervical cancer, then he doesn't want to perform an operation, if it is lung cancer, he does. So... the tumor is there. Hmm. I'm annoyed about this one.
4. He will go to a tumor board on Thursday and share my case with numerous people and make some decisions and call me.
So. I walked away joking with my husband for a while and not quite believing the conversation.
Here's a "PLEASE DON'T DO THIS to another person situation:
When my husband and I were waiting for the surgeon, his student came in first to talk with me. Hmm. She began the conversation with "What are you doing here today?" Seriously, don't ask this question medical professionals. It makes people doubt your abilities and wonder about whether you even know about their case before you walk in. She actually had missed reviewing the PET scans- that she carried into the appointment- and after she walked out we waited 45 minutes more for the surgeon to come in. Hmm. I did tell her she made me very uncomfortable with that question and it made me wonder whether she had even read my files and she did clarify that they'd read the other documents, just not the PET scans. Hmm.

Love being home with my books.

I felt very good about how my nose works two days ago... I heard some popping noises and then smelled smoke coming from my dryer- which wasn't even operating at the time. Unplugged things and called a repair person. Today the person confirmed that we would have had a fire if I hadn't unplugged the dryer. We've ordered a new dryer- the old one was 10 years old, good life for it. Enough drama already.

Ready for a few mellow days. Oh wait, I have an appointment with a radiation oncologist.... oh my.

Thanks for journeying with me as always...