Waking up happy can be a good thing

Birthday girl with her cupcake sweater- couldn't get the cupcake
earrines in the shot, sigh... Hi to my great brother-in-law as well...

So, it has been almost two months since I began my immunotherapy, tumultous months with the stinking feeding tube added in.
Last week my friend, thanks Catherine!, found me the powdered version of pocari sweat, happy day, saves money, reduces plastic bottles, thrilled... I'm still taking in Gatorade as well... I'm so happy to be avoiding dehydration for two weeks now, it is a relief. NO bags of fluid going into my veins, hooray!! If I could say the same for the constipation and coughing I'd be thrilled but I'm working on those.
I was able to go to work all this past week which I know isn't a big deal, but for me... it was. I so enjoy having enough stamina... and also am resting at the end of each day a huge amount.
It was fun to see family this week for my sister's birthday (Happy Birthday Rachel!!!) and was weird at the same time to not see my parents after consistently during the week after having them help me so often during past weeks. Grateful for their support.

Cheese!

I'm thrilled it is December but also overwhelmed since my kiddo has a big birthday next weekend... he's such a big boy and growing so fast. So grateful to be here for it...

Today was a good day. Sure I still needed a mid-day rest. Sure I still am exhausted. I did get Nivolumab this morning with my friend Catherine. We had a good time chatting... it was the first time in a while I could actually have a sustained conversation, such a relief to be able to communicate! I also got to find some medicine that my naturopathic dr. suggested for the cough and stamina as well.

When I woke up this morning I had the realization that I now can sleep on my back again. I've been unable to do this for months- since the tumor in my back created such pressure I was in pain even lying down that way. I am taking Advil on a regular basis as my gastro-enterologist recommended, might be that reason... BUT Could this mean that the tumor is shrinking? I should hope so. Nivolumab, do your best please. I'm trying to pave the way!
I'm trying to eat. I can take little baby/bird bites and water in between and can get 1/8 of what I used to into my body- leads to a good takeaway container but still I'm not "eating" like I'd dream of... shall see. I do now weigh in at 122 pounds... super exciting, over 120 again is a start towards healthy!!

I'm working to take quiet time, meditation time, restful moments. Sometimes that's hard because all I want to do is zone out and watch a tv show, but I'm trying.

Love my mom...

I found out that my oncologist wants to do a PET scan, sigh. I was really hoping for a CT but ok. I'm scheduled for this Thursday to get one done. PET scans suck to be honest... fasting, isolation, needles, but I'll get thru yet another one- 2nd one here in Oregon, 5th one overall I've had...
The following Tuesday I'll see my oncologist and go over the results of the test. Here's hoping for good ones. I won't go alone (my mom will come, she is very good at hearing EVERYTHING said). Never again will I go alone to an appointment with PET scan results. Learned my lesson on that last August.

Well... going to rest again now. Read a few good books recently and am loving an audiobook I'm listening to... I was stuck in another one and not enjoying it- solution? Take a break.

Wishing everyone a wonderful holiday season. Hanukah snuck up on us, can't believe it begins tomorrow night. Kiddo is thrilled of course. I'm just struggling to wrap presents for family in other states and think out mailing them, etc. It was fun to sort out what I bought for the holidays since I hadn't thought much about it since July. I do plan gifts way in advance...

Thanks for journeying with me!

Clean Scan - Support me please

Enjoyed visiting a Cat Cafe with my friend...
blogging on Styling Librarian about it in a few weeks.

I believe...

So.

I'm having a PET scan in a few weeks. Then I will have results a few days later. I believe the scan will be clear. No cancer. I need all my friends, family, loved ones to also have this thought for me. Let's take advantage of positive thoughts.

I'm feeling much better than a few weeks ago. Taking things day by day. I will be well. I am healing. It will take a while and I'll be a little different than I was before but I feel good about the future. There is so much to live for. So much to hope for. 

I want to see my son have his Bar Mitzvah. Be there for family celebrations. Watch my son graduate from High School. Attend college. Celebrate anniversaries and life events with my husband. Have new adventures. Enjoy time with friends and family... Continue a career that I'm passionate about... I have too many good things in my life and know the future is bright.

So.
Clean scan. It will be clear, all these things I've done for almost a year have been successful.
If you talk with me about the scan, focus on the positive. Believe it will be a clean scan with me.

I feel lucky because...
I can fully breath even with part of my lung removed.
My gum has healed and I might not need surgery for the area I was concerned about.
My fingernails are growing out and looking a little bit healthier.
My hair will grow back soon enough.
My energy level fluxuates but I can enjoy work without feeling like I'm going to collapse.
My stomach is feeling a little better.
I have job prospects. Shall see.
Family are excited for us to return home.
Our friends are excited for us to return home.
I have an oncologist and other team members lined up to help me once I'm home.
Things are somewhat falling into place with paperwork and moving details here. I've got good support as needed as well...

So much to be grateful for...

So.
Clean scan.
Think it.
Believe it.
Have faith and hope for me.

Thank you as always for journeying with me... grateful, grateful, grateful...

Hoping and wishing with cranes and more

I love student friends... such beautiful people. I know I've touched many children through the years but they've been darn impacting and special to me as well.
Yesterday I received a very large, light box. It was decorated outside with loving messages and stickers. I opened it and was astounded. Cranes. 1000. Cranes. A wish created and given to me by former students and parents from my old school in Oregon. Wow. I am overwhelmed. (If the beautiful people who made this are reading- thank you, thank you, thank you.)
It is said that friends or loved ones fold 1000 paper cranes to wish a person recovery or a wish for a long life... I have read and taught about the beautiful story of Sadako and the Thousand Paper Cranes by Eleanor Coerr. This book has inspired so many people through the years.

I feel a wish granted, you know? When do you feel that blessed and lucky? I'm so touched. There have been people who have taken action and reached out with words, time, gifts, energy, and so much more since last August (and many before with my other two cancer battles) and I'm feeling darn lucky and loved. I even received beautiful threaded cranes before from parents at my present school...


A few years ago I featured a former student who is running a program called Cranes of Hope in Oregon on my Styling Librarian blog. She's so inspiring. She is still collecting cranes from the mail, through workshops and more and delivering the cranes to oncology centers around Portland and Beaverton and giving hope to children and adults going through cancer treatment. Patients pick up a crane each time they go for treatment. Here's my blog feature from 2013 - featured in June, I was diagnosed with cervical cancer that fall...:
http://thestylinglibrarian.com/2013/01/15/styling-librarian-features-cranes-of-hope/
I've thought about Niasha's mission, focus, and beautiful actions through the years and even just last week was thinking that I should be keeping my hands busy by making cranes I could send to her and even lead a crane making workshop with students during lunch in the library. Never considered being the recipient...  And then I receive this gorgeous box of cranes. What a gift.  **Please consider following Niasha on Facebook- Cranes of Hope and making cranes for her. It's a powerful mission she's accomplishing with many supporters... See links and such on the blog post above.

Today I brought my son to Sunday school and a former student (I helped there for first two years in Hong Kong but resigned this year since I had operations/chemo+ and no clue what I could handle) came over to me. "Debbie. I would like to help. I have the healing touch. Have you heard of Reiki?" (So my former students heard about this round, I kept things very quiet with the other two...) I said "That's very sweet, thank you. Yes I have heard of it..." For the whole community service she had her hands on my shoulders sharing her energy and hope with me. Beautiful. Touched. So sweet. And I did feel warmth, energy and was quite grateful. A 12 year old sharing her energy...

So. I'm ending the weekend a little tired after being out most of the day today visiting with friends, hanging out with my son, shopping at bookstores, launching a new book program for kids here in Hong Kong... but so invigorated and restored at the same time... Work/CT/MRI tomorrow. Will push through. I have a good audiobook to help me with the walks to the hospital along with a lovely friend who has offered to walk with me on some days... again, touched.

Thanks for journeying with me all...