I've been in a tailspin down down down this week even as much as I knew better, I couldn't refocus my brain. I have been dealing with heavy coughing this week. It is really annoying. I also am dealing with some new pains that really upset me. My brain surprised me. I hadn't thought
cancer when dealing with pains in the past but this time I freaked out. I haven't talked with my oncologist yet but I'm now down off the cliff, mostly. I noticed an odd bruise in the lumpectomy area which was worrisome and my scar tissue under my armpit felt terrible. Additionally my right lung returned to having that butterfly thump when I breathed in/out and some sharp pains in other areas of the lung. I know I'm acutely aware of my body and the signs it is giving me. I'm also aware that I have a lot of nerve damage after surgeries and radiation as well. So. Shall see what my oncologist thinks on Monday. Hoping that I actually sleep tonight. It didn't help that this week has been abysmal for sleep... with the coughing, pain, and more I've been a bit miserable. I think the anti-inflammatory has helped lessen the amount I was dealing with on Monday. The worst was Wednesday when I couldn't hold up the book I was reading to students with my right arm and I had to pause at times to deal with the pain spasms. Coughing randomly throughout the day doesn't help matters. I've taken cough medicine and no, it doesn't help. Lung pain might be an infection although I haven't had a fever... will find out soon.
So... yeah. Dealing with that.
The local hospital situation is over. My husband went in for me on Friday to talk with the oncologist who said the team of oncologists discussed and decided on option 1- wait and see. Heck no. That's not our plan. That's not ok with us.
I never cancelled my chemo appointment with my oncologist so that's on for Monday. Told the insurance company and the other person who encouraged me to check with the options at the local hospital the results. Done with one unknown. Gonna get thru this.
Really enjoyed the conference I attended with friends. Had a fun bbq fancy dinner with Megan the night before. I feel amazed at how lucky I am to have wonderful friends, professional development that inspires, and can't believe that I live here, in Hong Kong, where I can hop on a jet boat with a few hundred people and travel to another region... just a Hong Kong id card and passport and hello Macau. I'm not a gambler so bright lights and glitz simply make me chuckle. Serious security guards in banana yellow formal jackets make me chuckle as well. Had a fun time there.
Thanks for journeying
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| My friend I've met thru a cancer support group sent me this. So true. |
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| I liked the lighting at the hotel we stayed at... |
