Many Hmmms but happy moments too

Happy day, visited favorite used bookstore yesterday.
Called- Flow Books- learned that it is closing/moving soon.
Hong Kong friends, get over there now!
Such a nice owner, hope he finds a new place to move to!
One of my new hats with an old scarf and a cute blue clip...
Thanks Mom!

It is incredible what a few days extra of recovery provide a body. Unfortunately, my stamina isn't completely there... I can still last for 3-4 hours but find myself getting pretty tired after that if I'm walking around. I haven't hit 10,000 steps again, my friend Sheli has each day though... we're wandering around Hong Kong between appointments and such.
Today provided us with a relaxed morning and an adventure out to Central for me to finally take the Satyananda yoga class that is provided through CancerLink. I really appreciated every minute of the class. The instructor was patient, knowledgeable, had a good sense of humor and introduced the yoga style in an easy fashion. I found that my range of motion isn't what it used to be. Five scars on my right side certainly have impacted me but I've healed a lot in the past months, the pain has resided so much. Giving myself time to heal and being patient, as much as I can...
I've talked with doctors and more than one mentioned that chemotherapy brings back up radiation treatment reactions, yep. At least it doesn't burn but the area where I had radiation in May certainly isn't happy skin. The scalp isn't quite healed but I've completed the antibiotics. #6 of 12 chemo treatments is tomorrow. It is a one drug day... not fun but quicker.
Saw my acupuncturist yesterday, appreciate his perspective... he lectured me on how to cook the eggs I'm eating and encouraged me to eat two a day. He also has been helping me focus on letting go of worries, etc during treatment, that's pretty wonderful and helpful...
Was chatting with Sheli today about my hair as I've noticed it growing out a tiny bit. Am wondering how much will be there by #12, hair still is falling out constantly but not sure... Also curious to see the state of my eyebrows and eyelashes by then, my oncologist thinks that they won't fall out. Hmm. Taking it day by day.
Sorted out my daily supplements and medicine today and there are a lot. I chatted with Sheli about how it would be nice to figure out how to cut back on them somehow... but I just keep adding. Hmm.
Was bit 8 times the other day by mosquitoes- even though I did put on bug repellant, hmm. Glaring at insects doesn't really work folks... but I have noticed that my coconut oil/slippery elm bark mix really does help my skin calm down and mostly heal! Happy that I tried it out... not quite perfect but darn lot better than it could be!

*Received the most thoughtful video created and made by my former school's staff from Ridgewood Elementary. So, so touched. At first I couldn't believe they did it all for me... but they did. They created a lip-sync sing along video with different grade level teams competing against one another... for me to choose a winner (impossible) to show their love and make me laugh... and laugh (and cry) I did. So touched. So grateful. I want to share it here but it is unlisted and I know there could be some copyright issues and I want to keep rewatching it in the future! Thank you to my Ridgewood friends... so grateful, feeling loved on this end...

Thanks for keeping up with the journey... really appreciate all the support through this time... can't believe I'm already on week 6 of chemo...

Answers... well we asked for them.

Less than a week ago, my husband and I walked away, frustrated, from my oncologist's office. We had more questions than answers. Today, we received some answers... but we certainly didn't walk away from the appointment happy or relieved. Honestly, I'm overwhelmed. My wonderful husband is... quiet and contemplative and supportive and... surviving too...

I attended my first 'CanSurvive' meeting today (cancer support group) that included a lunch with many friendly strangers who were catching up after months apart and then going to a lecture with a counselor who talked about how to manage negative thoughts and how to reshape and redirect them. Appreciated the lecture and was frustrated to have to leave early for my oncologist appointment... Think part of the frustration was that I knew answers were coming from my oncologist.
Here's the YouTube video I took note of when I had to leave - shared by the counselor from the Well Cast Channel: interesting approach to reshaping thoughts... think I'll watch more videos from this channel, a little disappointed that it isn't quite appropriate for primary school since I like some of the topics...

I'm mentally working through the chemotherapy plans... new more aggressive plans because unfortunately my prediction was right, my oncologist assessed the lab results and confirmed that the cancer I have now is metastatic cervical cancer in my lungs. He has a much more aggressive plan for chemotherapy than he had when it was the lung cancer diagnosis. Now I have to go for chemo weekly with a rotation of different medicine each week on a four week cycle. I will lose my hair, no doubting that now, scarves are my new focus instead of hats, shall see. This protocol can have many side effects. The costs of all the chemotherapy is overwhelming. I'm checking in with insurance to see what will be covered.
I considered going to the local hospitals in Hong Kong now that I finally have an official diagnosis and a referral letter from my doctor as of today. Unfortunately, getting an appointment could take 2-3 weeks and getting treatment could take 1-3 weeks later... which isn't very promising. I'll still look into the local treatment, even just for radiation treatment, shall see.
My oncologist wasn't very encouraging about the government/local hospitals proceeding with the protocol he has created for me. He thought they'd prefer to do radiation first which he did not recommend. This means a lot to me because...
1. I want to survive, recover, and be in remission.
2. I can't imagine putting off treatment for another month when my oncologist wants to begin next week (I just hit my 2 week mark after having surgery, can't believe it will be just 3 weeks and then chemo treatment begins but as a friend said to me, those Hong Kong doctors do not mess around!)
3. I trust my oncologist. I do not believe he would exaggerate or dissuade me because he wants my business. I believe he wants the best for me.

So, will talk and sort out finances and begin chemotherapy sometime next week.
Looking forward.
Staying strong.
Overwhelmed but dealing with emotions as they roll... and they will... and that's ok...

Thinking that I would like to focus on humor a little more. Find funny videos that make me laugh, comic strips, comedians... anyone have a favorite? I adore comic strips, subscribe to many online... almost as obsessed with them as I am with graphic novels.

Appreciated one cancer survivor's story in the book Radical Remission which included her and her daughter making time at the beginning and end of the day to find ways to laugh. I love to laugh. My son does too... perhaps that's something we can do together for a new routine. He already thinks I find the most awesome videos to share with him... The librarian in me is already mentally figuring out how to organize this...

I am looking into comedians on YouTube, here's the first one I'll be watching: - Humorous guy, I like his slightly twisted approach... for adults though.

Also, I like the idea of creating one of these: http://www.comedycures.org/stuff/make-a-joke-book/ vs. making a get-well-soon card for classes, nice idea... productive, positive idea... :)

Grateful my mom suggested I reread that chapter in Radical Remission... inspiring. Good for redirecting my mind to the positive and thinking about humor.

Thanks all for keeping up with my journey. Getting through...