More hope, yes thank you, immunotherapy time is coming

At the technology/Future Ready Conference on
Friday. Had to wear my shirt to show that I'm
balanced between technology and print materials.

So, something happened today that should have occurred four months ago. But I've accepted that we're simply here now.
I saw my new oncologist today.
Got very clear, honest opinions from her. Received hope, hope, hope.
My husband and I walked away saying, "Yes, this is what we need."
Shall see about that one immunotherapy drug that connects to my biopsy/Foundation I testing. It might take some time to get approval for it. My new oncologist is willing to have me get that still. BUT she's working now on getting me on what I wanted to get on 4 months ago: Nivolumab. An immunotherapy drug. It is the one that is in a phase II study for metastatic cervical cancer patients.
 http://www.chemocare.com/chemotherapy/drug-info/Nivolumab.aspx
https://www.mskcc.org/cancer-care/clinical-trials/15-116
She wants me off of Avastin. Said that it isn't really viable on its own and she doesn't find a need for it in conjunction with Nivolumab. I'm honestly thrilled with that.

I am hopeful.
I am grateful.
I am relieved.

Avastin with blue planes? afterwards. The nurse got
a lecture from me and was much more careful and
aware of what went wrong with our last session.
She used a heating pad and did the "drip" on a
different vein. No new bruises, phew. 

My brain MRI led to nothing new (thank goodness!)
My PET scan led to not too much new, although apparently I had some time of a rib fracture on my right side?! Odd information but makes sense where I was hurting for around 3 months on my right side after surgery last August. Apparently there's something that lit up on that side but shall see. My oncologist was not concerned. It wasn't highlighted as a concern.

I'm hopeful.

I do have to go and get the endoscopy on Thursday. Shall see about pain afterwards. Not thrilled. Shall see if the stint is put in. The gastro-enterologist is concerned about the fact that I got Avastin last Friday. He's not sure if I will heal well if there is any cuts internally. Shall see what he decides. I just want to swallow consistently again. I'm on Prilosec which seems to have eased some things in the morning a tiny bit- less throwing up incidents, but still having issues overall. Getting food in as much as I can but I'm now down to 118, sigh. At least it isn't more, I guess.

Bridge on our way back home on Hwy 101.

Friday was a bit busy with a tech conference, a chat with my oncologist during one break, Avastin treatment, and then meeting up for a carpool down to Coos Bay. My friend and I chatted all four hours on our way to Coos Bay, so wonderful... The doctors on Thursday had looked at me with raised eyebrows when they heard my plans for the weekend but I had faith that I'd planned things out well enough, and I think I had... I actually was able to get to the conference in Coos Bay and present on Saturday. I took a lot of breaks that day but really enjoyed every minute possible. Loved meeting up with educator/school library colleagues from around Oregon and also some beautiful, inspiring author friends as well. So many wonderful hugs exchanged, filled me with such happiness... Overwhelming a little bit, but in a good way. Sunday I slept and rested and rode home with my lovely friend who was fine with a quieter Debbie and an audiobook.

So... getting thru the days. Looking forward to a few non-medical, more work focused days. Hooray for them.

Thanks as always for journeying with me.
Here's to hope.

I loved seeing this blooming still...

5 appointments, 3 days, sheesh

Gonna miss my kiddo when I go to a conference for the weekend.
Just finished a good book with him and quickly are going to shift
to a new one... Haven't missed a storytime with him in a while... Even
the days when I'm coughing and unable to read much, we still have our
time together...

So. Yesterday I had to go get a PET scan done and I took a sick day since I knew I'd be useless at work before the scan since I had to fast for it.
The scan is still as isolating as it is in Hong Kong. Similar everything. Scans suck a little more now since I don't prefer to lay on my back since pain is ridiculously bad after 5 minutes. Having to lay on my back without taking tylenol? Very worrisome. Got thru it all just fine. I'm good at staying still. (Guess I have a little practice with 3 rounds of radiation!)
While I was isolated for an hour letting the radiation seep thru my body for the PET scan, the nurse pulled a miracle and scheduled a brain MRI a few hours after the PET scan.
I hated that MRI. I don't use the word too often but MRI contrasts suck totally. First I'm in a head cage and have to hold still while things bonk, buzz, whir, and shake all around. For 25 minutes. Then they injected a contrast into my poor overused vein and walked away. Nope. Not happening. Had to hit the panic button so that I could sit up and deal with the nausea side effect from the contrast, yuck. Got over it. They said it happens to those who are lightweight... Yup, that's me presently.  15 minutes more of laying still. Had earplugs and headphones on. Once in a while heard classical music. Hmm. Not so fun. Got thru it.
So I had to get both tests done for the new oncologist I'm seeing next Monday.

Today was interesting.
First I met the gastroenterologist and discussed my swallowing problems with him. Why not just schedule the stinking procedure? I'm not sure. Oh well. Next Thursday or Friday I'll be going thru an hour long procedure where they'll possibly put a stint into my esophagus. There's consequences, of course. It could slide. Go down into my stomach. It will likely make me hurt for 2-3 days as the stint expands. He only wants it in there for 6-8 months. Said it can create problems if it is there longer. Said that I have to sleep at an angle because I could have really bad acid reflux since there's no barrier anymore once the stent is in place.
Found this brochure about what to do after the stent is placed...
https://www.bostonscientific.com/content/dam/bostonscientific/endo/general/gastro-specialty/eso_stent_patient_nutrition.pdf

Next I met with my oncologist. Had good conversations with her. We went over the Foundation I results and she found that there was a immunotherapy drug that my tumor reacted three ways to "genomic alterations detected"... so she got permission from me (of course) and is now applying to get it for me through compassionate care.
The immunotherapy drug is called Temsirolimus.
http://www.torisel.com/how-torisel-works
I know it is normally connected to renal cell carcinoma. It is not on my oncologist's normal radar. She said it was very good that we had the Foundation I testing because it brought to light a drug that has a little promise. It is in a 2nd trial trying out treatment for gynecological cancers/cervical cancer and has shown promise. I'll take that hope.
https://clinicaltrials.gov/ct2/show/NCT01026792
Shall see how long compassionate use application takes. I'm still seeing the new oncologist on Monday and also another oncologist on Thursday.
We also discussed other things, liquid versions of medicine, especially tylenol... Unfortunately the Tamoxifen I take is liquid form with the flavor of licorice added in, YUCK. I HATE black licorice. I HATE the seeds as well... So I'll crush that pill.
Handed her my paper work for my Advance Directive... it came in the last Hong Kong shipping package... Good to get it sorted out and make sure the hospital knows my wishes.
Grateful a friend is helping me with paperwork and such... I'm in the process of gathering what I've already got... wills, etc.

Eating is such an issue.
Had to fast yesterday for the PET scan and afterwards met my mom and had a delicious sandwich. Unfortunately around 20 minutes into my slow eating process things got... blocked up and I couldn't figure out what to do. Had to lie down at the restaurant in a booth. Blech. Took around 25 minutes or so to recover but felt like crap and barely had any interest in dinner. Needless to say when I weighed in today I'm down to 119.5. :( Very unhappy about that but will continue to try. I'm drinking protein shakes thanks to my husband making them for me in the mornings. I'm slowly going about the days. Barely able to drink a mug of warm lemon water first thing in the morning. So odd to adjust to. But I'm trying. Dinner time is a little better. Today at lunch I had delicious soup but could only get in the broth. Sigh. Shall see. Got noodles, a little chicken and more noodles in me at dinner tonight. Better than I've eaten for a few days. Thanks mostly to my mom's cooking!!

Have another Avastin infusion tomorrow. Grateful my sister is going to be with me. I love my family. So much. I'm so grateful to spend time with them. So happy I'm close by now... Makes it so apparent to me how much I missed them last year... and how many people helped be my family in Hong Kong last year. I miss those beautiful, supportive friends...

Went to the best yoga instructor ever's class yesterday. Appreciated her advice on how to help my back, throat and eyebrows. Working to not raise my eyebrows so often. I never noticed how much I use them til now and she pointed out that it adds stress that's unnecessary. Also learned about some chair poses that should help me, give me more energy... Boy I've missed her classes. Happy to sneak in one again...  after the PET and MRI it felt good to do a healthy action.

Gotta do a crazy face too mom! :)

Thanks as always for journeying with me...
Finding promise.
Holding hope close to my heart and being patient, very patient with myself.

A Little Hope? Yes, thank you.

Loved special sister time... My curls are starting to poof out!
Love each and every one of them.

Had an ok day overall. LOW energy. Caught myself falling asleep during something I found fascinating, frustrating.
Work was ok.
Went to radiologist. LONG appointment.
This is a doctor who doesn't give up.
She doesn't want to radiate any time soon. She really wants to wait since the tumor is exactly where I've had radiation before... she's concerned that the radiation won't work well and will actually further aggravate my esophagus... I understand why she's concerned and honestly appreciate it... even though I also have that attitude thinking, "darn it just zap the heck out of those tumors already!"
I told her how upset I was over the stagnant course of treatment and within an hour she found a new oncologist who is providing me with another bit of hope.
I have to go get yet another PET scan tomorrow. Oh boy. Hate those when it is at noon, takes 3 hours and I have to fast 6 hours in advance. Blech. But at least there's something happening! I also have to get a MRI brain scan soon.
Possibilities for immunotherapy are there. Shall see.
Found out there might need to be a stint placed in my esophagus... will see a specialist Thursday afternoon and find out more about that. Yikes.  Hadn't heard about getting a stint before. Glad to have a doctor who covers her bases and knows what is going on. Saw a scan of my esophagus, there really looks like it is closed up partway down it...
I appreciated getting the suggestion to sleep more at an angle to see if that can help all my swallowing/coughing issues in the mornings. Here's hoping that works. My parents passed me a pillow and my husband picked me up a few more pillows as well. He referenced The Princess and the Pea when we looked at all the pillows piled up...
Really grateful for the appointment. Amazing how much more relieved I felt after the appointment. Give me a little hope people, that's all I ask...
My radiologist even called me later in the evening to fill me in on the referral. Love how she works and thinks, really appreciate having her part of my medical team...
Caught up with my favorite massage therapist the other day, was so refreshing and helpful... Grateful.
Less pain as well.
Going to qi gong classes on most Mondays and even get to see a beautiful friend when I go to class... good incentive. Really enjoying this instructor even though it is very different from my past classes.
Shall see how the rest of the week goes.
Thanks for journeying with me...

PS My love and prayers go to the Traller family. Heartbroken after learning the news that Nathalie died last night. She provided so many with a beautiful light of energy, love and hope. She has touched so many people and will be remembered through future years... The advocacy and fundraising for ASPS and children with cancer hopefully will help future children who have this diagnosis and others. Although noone should ever have to deal with cancer. Let there be much more research for rarer forms of cancer....

Birthday and Pacing Myself

Lovely yoga time with my friend.
Special entrance to the fitness club.

Well. Already wrote this post and everything was lost... rewriting is a little brief.
Days have flown by.

Birthday treat.

I'm alive.
I'm swallowing food, mostly, mornings are hard but by dinner I'm doing better. Couldn't swallow my supplements this morning.
Today was a little challenging.
My body reminded me to stop. right. now. today when I went to a conference.
I enjoyed a morning workshop, presented about creating a reading classroom community and booktalked 70+ books in 55 minutes, and then I enjoyed watching wonderful authors receive book awards and share wonderful thoughts... After an hour, sitting in a chair was not agreeing with me. Very frustrating. I got up while the keynote speaker shared. No resolving pain or exhaustion. Went and found a couch on the other side of the building. Laid down. Took about an hour to feel ok. A catering staff person brought me water. Another person asked if they could call anyone. Then they gave me lunch early... I ate a little bit and felt a tiny bit better.

Special birthday flowers from a friend.

Special birthday flowers from family.

Went and said hi to a few beloved authors and quickly got in my car and drove home. Felt strong enough and wasn't in as much pain/exhaustion by that time. Rested pretty much the rest of the day.
Got thru the past 9 days ok. On Monday I saw a genetic counselor (mostly a waste of my time, useful for my family hopefully) and also my naturopathic dr. He didn't have much to suggest for me with the swallowing and such, just wants me to get to another oncologist to get a second opinion, that's happening in a few weeks.
Enjoyed work even with training interruptions. Appreciating not just being a cancer patient there. I'm a valued staff member. Most of my coworkers know how I am with the medical situation but they don't dig too much, just a good caring group. Love that kids are smiling when I come in the room now to teach... Also appreciated a birthday serenade from a class of first graders- good friend made sure people knew it was by birthday... I shared it with anyone I was walking around with, never been one to be quiet about celebrating my birthday.

Birthday dinner time with my love.

Enjoyed family dinner time. Went to Pastini's and actually ate everything on my plate. Including tiramisu cake...
The next week is full of medical stuff.
I'm seeing a radiation specialist on Tuesday and Thursday I see a gastro-enterologist and oncologist. Then Friday I get Avastin again.
Still learning how to read my body and be patient with myself... since my body seems to be changing, I feel a bit unpredictable.

Love my present from a former student who runs Cranes of Hope.
Lovely blessing for my car.

Thanks for journeying with me as always...

Well Darn. That explains a little.

I just adore my guys...

Today is Yom Kippur.
Today is my husband's birthday.
Today I couldn't swallow.
Seriously.
I've had trouble swallowing for weeks now. Keep saying I'm having trouble. Had nausea because of it I think.
So.
I got up to prepare to go to services for Yom Kippur this morning with family.
Got ready feeling a little shakey but ok overall until I finished taking my supplements and went for a bite of food. It felt stuck in my throat.
I told my husband, "Something's really wrong." Laid down on the couch. Didn't help.
Laid down in bed. Said sorry to family about missing services- glad they went without me.
After an hour I wrote my oncologist's office.
Said "I can't swallow and it is weird."
They called within a few hours.
Told me to go see my primary care physician. He was available so I went to see him mid-day.
He was concerned. I've lost 7 pounds in 2 weeks. Seriously. So frustrated about this.
He said, "Well, we have a good thing, you can still drink liquids, so you can gain weight with liquids." Yeah sure. Man, I LOVE food. I'm not pleased.
He sent me for an x-ray to see if there was some obstruction. Couldn't see anything on the x-ray. Found my scan interesting though since my internal organs have shifted a bit since my lower lung on the right is gone.
He told me I had to get a CT scan with a contrast = needle.
He performed a miracle and got one for me an hour later.

Quiet waiting room for my mom while I got the scan.

Then his nurse performed a miracle and got my insurance to approve of it within the 40 minutes it took for me to get there with my mom (I picked her up, needle = I want my mom!!! Or a loved one for support!)
The center I went to was terrific. NOT a hospital. All they do is scans, they are focused on you. That's the way to go in my opinion.
The wonderful person was able to get a line in me, quickly zip me in and out of the CT machine, put the contrast in me, again zip me in and out of the CT machine and I was done.
I've been avoiding scans.
Last week my physician's assistant (who I loved) really wanted to scan me right away but I told her I really didn't want more things zapping me/being pushed into me... can't avoid it now Debbie!

Got home.
Watched the end of the documentary on the comedian Tig on Netflix- I recommend it, loved it.
Snuggled with my dog.
Got the call.
My primary care physician called me and gave me news.
Blech.
I should have called my husband in and put the dr. on speakerphone.
Didn't realize the brain dump I'd receive... good Dr. though.

So, the tumor of my lymph nodes that was always near my esophagus/heart that was 1.5 cm or so is now 3 or so cm. It is like a little cluster of grapes going down my esophagus and ending near my stomach. There are many enlarged lymph nodes...
They could be going into my muscle wall of my esophagus and slowing down my swallowing.
This could be the reason I've felt pain in my chest, this could be why I've been throwing up, this could be why I feel like when I swallow food is stuck when it gets down to my chest, this could be the reason I've been nauseaus, this could be the reason for many things. Sigh.

The doctor then went on to say that since surgery has been ruled out they probably will discuss radiation. If I continue to worsen, I'd need to have a feeding tube... seriously!! That blew my mind.
Not happy.

The doctor said he'd be calling my oncologist/physician's assistant in the morning and discussing my case and then someone will contact me with more thoughts.
So.

I was not thrilled.
It is Yom Kippur.
It is my husband's birthday.
We went over to my parents and had a party for my husband.

My husband's kind of birthday cake- pumpkin pie!!

We had fun.
We laughed.
I ATE FOOD.
First I ate my mom's homemade matzoh ball soup. Felt fine.
Then I ate some avocado. YUM.
Then I had a few pieces of cheesy bread, because I wanted it.
Then I had a piece of pumpkin pie. Because I could.
Then I had a chocolate chip cookie. Because YUM. It is my favorite treat.
Then I had some grapes. Because I could.
So there. I ate. I didn't gag. I didn't throw up (I did throw up last night when I tried to swallow some supplements, it just isn't happening at night).

I love my sister and brother-in-law, they make me laugh and share
share so much love and happiness with everyone...

I ate.
I will give myself time.
I will get up earlier so I don't feel rushed.
I'll eat softer foods.
I'll boost my weight.
I will not deal with a freaking tube (I hope, stubborn Debbie digging in her heels.)

I'm sure I could turn this into a Laura Numeroff story- If you give a mouse a cookie... but naah.
I ate. That's enough.
My family is the best.
I love them.
I'm so lucky.
I'm so glad to be home with them.
My parents saved the day with our kiddo.

My parents are the best. Seriously.

Nope, we didn't plan the Peanuts matching gear. Just how we think.

My husband was able to recover from an interview, flat tire, and get home without worrying about our kiddo thanks to my dad picking him up...
My mom was there with me for the scan. The nurse said "You have a really sweet mom." And I said "Yes, yes I do."
I feel so lucky.
Thank you to all my family and friends who are pulling for me and praying for me. I appreciate it. I feel the support. Even in those low moments today, I know I'm loved and supported.
Thanks for keeping up on my journey. The ups and downs of it. Thanks for reading my long drawn out journals. They help me think out things... and hopefully help wonderful people understand what's going on...

Gettin' along

Buzzy smiling bees this time!

Well.
Been a over a week.
Doing better now.
Harsh lesson.
Don't be stubborn.
Don't be stoic.
If you are nauseaus and feeling shaky/weak for many days, something is wrong. Waiting just one more day to see if it goes away isn't wise at all.
I went after 8 days feeling terrible to the doctor.
She lectured me about simply calling and getting advice at least.
She told me that I needed to even email if I need help.
Sigh.
I know this.
I'm capable of asking for help.
Do I do so? Sometimes? NO. I'm darn stubborn.

So, anti-nausea medicine is a godsend when needed. As is cough medicine when needed.

I'm actually sleeping ok and stomach isn't terrible- it doesn't love anti-nausea meds but that's life.
Pain is actually ok overall. Sort of like arthritis pain in my chest and back. I can deal with it and if I'm hurting? Tylenol has simply been enough in the past days.

My dr. thinks I might have heartburn so we're trying a few tablespoons of apple cider vinegar at night to see if that will help me.

Also drinking warm happy lemon water with honey thru the day to help my throat out.

Chemo/Avastin went ok. Bruise from the needle looks hideous. Thank goodness it is long sleeve weather. Shall bring up what happened next time. Harumph. Haven't had a bruise like this in a long time and I honestly know exactly what went wrong.

My sweet snuggler

My dog is doing ok. She's gettin' along and snuggling with us like the beautiful soul she is.
My kiddo is settling into school ok overall. Grateful.
My husband is dealing with many job interviews. We have hope.
Birthdays are upon us. Husband's is first, which he really doesn't want to celebrate much.
Then mine next Friday. I'm all about saying HELL YEAH I'M STILL HERE AND LOVING LIFE!!! Here's to turning 42 without chemo or a hysterectomy on my birthday. Seriously. I'll take a peaceful, happy birthday. Enough already with the drama.

Feeling stronger on my end. I wrote my 1000th blog post on my Styling Librarian site. Feeling accomplished. Happy with what I do there.
Tired and know I am grateful for where I'm at...
Found a new massage therapist who specializes in cancer patients- pre/post/fighting, etc. She's lovely and likes essential oils, hooray.

New massage place

Appreciate the naturopathic dr. I found and the 20 mg. of Melatonin he prescribed me. Sleeping so much better than the past few years.
Enjoyed a new qi gong instructor and look forward to another class with her.

Grateful for my mom's support at chemo.
First time she could come with me.

My acupunturist said tonight, you're really getting your healthy ducks sorted out!
I also met with a Breast Friends support group. Lovely women. Good talk. Appreciated them telling me about the Dougie Center. http://www.dougy.org/  Not that we're dealing with death but they also deal with children who are affected by severe illnesses. Nice to know a resource, not that we find a need at the moment, but good to know it is there.

Still waiting on Foundation 1 testing on my tumor sample. I waited 3 weeks and then emailed since I was frustrated... they said they'd send when they knew anything.

Can't believe we've been home over 11 weeks and I'm not on anything I was hoping to be on. I'm happy I'm doing Mannatech and I have faith that it is helping heal my immune system, but man I'm annoyed with delays here in the US.

Hope everyone is gettin' along and finds those moments of joy all over their days!
Thanks for journeying with me...

Favorite book arrived from Hong Kong

A Sliver of Me and The Journey

Look! My hair is growing out more! :)
This was a few days ago when I had more stamina...

It has been a little while since I journaled... getting thru the days.
The past four days have been rough and frustrating. I've felt nauseated, low appetite, weak, tired, fatigued, and more... and have gotten thru the days best I can. I think this is all due to being off pain medication. Could be a side effect of Avastin as well... It is disturbing how much this pain medication has masked symptoms. I am tempted to go back on the pain medication but it is frustrating since I have to switch to the US brand which is capsules vs. pills so I can't split them in 1/2. Hmm. Going to try to ride out for a few more days. Shall see.
Last week I met with a new Naturopath Dr. Appreciated the visit with him. He had sensible suggestions. Appreciated getting off some supplements that were redundant/not necessary. So many darn supplements to swallow every day. He increased my intake of a fermented mushroom mycelia extract that helps Avastin work better. He also has me taking Melatonin at night- it is really working. I take Melatonin and then do qigong. I also am taking more curcumin. He calls this the emperor of my anti-cancer herbs. He also recommended three new possible oncologists for me. Will be looking into them soon.
Avastin is due again this Friday. Meh. At least I am getting it done closer to home. Less travel time afterwards.
Visited with my acupuncturist recently as well. Appreciated her insight. Calming. She suggested I start doing qigong at night and that's just what I needed to do... I've been consistently doing qigong every night now which is a relief. I know I want to do more but it is ok for now. I'm also going to my first official class soon. Hooray for that...

Place I went today so my kiddo could do a "Mud Run" with the Cub Scouts... kiddo was thrilled. I found this bit peaceful.

Ok, it has been a month since I participated in The Journey experience. I have not made time to reflect on it beyond thinking about it... yet. So, now is a good time I suppose. 
So, one thing about The Journey is reaching into your past and dealing with issues... addressing conflict, to help you heal in whatever way you need. Help your cells heal from old wounds per se. I found this to be quite intriguing, so I went on the process to address my past. And peeled layer after emotional layer and then addressed all the layers one at a time. Sure, this doesn't resolve my issues overall but I appreciated the process. The journey practitioner took notes as I went thru the hour of the journey with her. Here are most of them:
Dear Debbie,

Here are some notes from your wonderful Journey process:

First the emotions, I addressed each one...

Emotional Layer What Source said to it

Sadness “I trust that I need to be sad sometimes.”

Loneliness “Embrace those lonely days. They are still good days, too.”

Sadness “Don’t suppress it.”

Loss “You still have good memories.”

Fear “There is a way around it.”

Anger at being left alone “Embrace it.”

Feeling unloved “You are loved.”

Loneliness “It is good to be alone.”

Lack of trust “It is not necessary.”

Anger at not being listened to “Not worth it.”

Anger that is like depression “Cool off.”

Doubt “Trust yourself.”

Failure “Not worth feeling the guilt.”

Going thru the journey revealed that my ultimate "happy" moments are with my 5 year old self at my "core" where I feel joy... that was interesting since I can barely remember anything from my childhood...

Happiness, the 5 year old you = your experience of Source

After I addressed emotions I went to my "campfire" to address my 12 year old me- when things seemed to have some tumultous memories... I was asked to call on a mentor to provide words of wisdom to my 12 year old me... so this is what came out of me:

Campfire

Your mentor’s words of wisdom for the younger 12 year old you: “Practice more forgiveness. Let go of anger. Speak up when you are uncomfortable. Learn to use your own voice. Don’t hide your feelings. You don’t need to be passive. You can be strong.”

Your mentor’s words of wisdom for the present you: “Be patient. Be kind to yourself. Trust others more. Appreciate the time you have with people.”

Final words of wisdom from mentor: “Trust your gut.”

I was asked to look towards the future. (I dreaded this because thinking about the future sort of sucks in my opinion most of the time. A fact with me as a cancer patient... I've read the book- The Journey by Brandon Bays and knew everything that was coming through this process) Here's what I thought:

Future Pace

1 day: You feel happy.

1 week: Feeling confident, trusting.

1 month: Issue disappearing.

6 months: Issue lessening. Happy, optimistic.

1 year: Proud of yourself. Issue gone.

5 years: Grateful for every minute I am alive! Confident.

Well.
It was an interesting process.
I'm not sure if I'm sharing too much of myself here but... that's part of my journaling, so be it.

The practitioner had these questions as follow up a few weeks after the process occurred:

1. How do you feel the Journey has affected your life, regarding your intention or issue?

The Journey helped me confirm what I was concerned about addressing and dealing with... it helped me refocus my energy/intention on positive moments and celebrating life.  I'm not necessarily sure how it has helped my issue but I know over the past month I'm sleeping a bit better and am able to walk away from frustrating situations in a smoother fashion.

2. Since we last communicated have you noticed any other, possibly unexpected changes in the way your body functions?

• Eye sight
• Eating habits
• Digestive functions
• Stamina
• Energy level
• Breathing patterns

Digestive functions have become better.

I brought qigong back into my daily routine which has helped my breathing patterns immensely.
I haven't seen as much of a change in my eating habits... 

Eye sight isn't much of an issue besides needing sleep more often than not and my eyes being tired from such.

Energy level had been increasing but I've been dealing with some ailments recently that have lowered my energy quite a bit...
I'm sleeping more/slightly better than I have in ages.

3. Since then have you experienced any physical or emotional symptoms of detoxification or release?
I was a bit more emotional over the past month and allowed myself to experience emotions, to not hold back tears, etc. It was a relief to allow myself to cry and release. It was also good to address other emotions as they hit me. I was much more emotional when I had acupuncture than I had been in the past and appreciated that detox.

 

4. Have you noticed any other changes in your emotional experiences? Perhaps in the way you typically react to challenging situations? Possibly in the way you feel about challenging people, or people close to you?

Not too much. I've always been pretty neutral dealing with challenging situations but I did switch to breathing deeply recently when dealing with some frustrating online issues and reminded myself that over the course of a week what was happening wouldn't be that important. I haven't really challenged people close to me as of yet... I'm simply making sure I'm trying my best to communicate my feelings and what I'm thinking and not letting anything get bottled up.

 

5. Is there anything else you would like to share?
Grateful for the journey. I'm looking forward to trying out The Journey process with a friend in a recipriocal fashion in a few weeks. It is cathartic and helpful for dealing with life... Thank you!

So.

That is my recap of experiencing The Journey.

It was interesting.

Certainly brought up some issues. 

L'Shanah Tova, Happy New Year, to my friends celebrating. I'm approaching this new year with as positive an attitude as I can have and doing my best to celebrate what I'm able to do, not look at what my limits are holding me back from and just enjoying life. 

Thanks as always for journeying with me...