Gettin' along

Buzzy smiling bees this time!

Well.
Been a over a week.
Doing better now.
Harsh lesson.
Don't be stubborn.
Don't be stoic.
If you are nauseaus and feeling shaky/weak for many days, something is wrong. Waiting just one more day to see if it goes away isn't wise at all.
I went after 8 days feeling terrible to the doctor.
She lectured me about simply calling and getting advice at least.
She told me that I needed to even email if I need help.
Sigh.
I know this.
I'm capable of asking for help.
Do I do so? Sometimes? NO. I'm darn stubborn.

So, anti-nausea medicine is a godsend when needed. As is cough medicine when needed.

I'm actually sleeping ok and stomach isn't terrible- it doesn't love anti-nausea meds but that's life.
Pain is actually ok overall. Sort of like arthritis pain in my chest and back. I can deal with it and if I'm hurting? Tylenol has simply been enough in the past days.

My dr. thinks I might have heartburn so we're trying a few tablespoons of apple cider vinegar at night to see if that will help me.

Also drinking warm happy lemon water with honey thru the day to help my throat out.

Chemo/Avastin went ok. Bruise from the needle looks hideous. Thank goodness it is long sleeve weather. Shall bring up what happened next time. Harumph. Haven't had a bruise like this in a long time and I honestly know exactly what went wrong.

My sweet snuggler

My dog is doing ok. She's gettin' along and snuggling with us like the beautiful soul she is.
My kiddo is settling into school ok overall. Grateful.
My husband is dealing with many job interviews. We have hope.
Birthdays are upon us. Husband's is first, which he really doesn't want to celebrate much.
Then mine next Friday. I'm all about saying HELL YEAH I'M STILL HERE AND LOVING LIFE!!! Here's to turning 42 without chemo or a hysterectomy on my birthday. Seriously. I'll take a peaceful, happy birthday. Enough already with the drama.

Feeling stronger on my end. I wrote my 1000th blog post on my Styling Librarian site. Feeling accomplished. Happy with what I do there.
Tired and know I am grateful for where I'm at...
Found a new massage therapist who specializes in cancer patients- pre/post/fighting, etc. She's lovely and likes essential oils, hooray.

New massage place

Appreciate the naturopathic dr. I found and the 20 mg. of Melatonin he prescribed me. Sleeping so much better than the past few years.
Enjoyed a new qi gong instructor and look forward to another class with her.

Grateful for my mom's support at chemo.
First time she could come with me.

My acupunturist said tonight, you're really getting your healthy ducks sorted out!
I also met with a Breast Friends support group. Lovely women. Good talk. Appreciated them telling me about the Dougie Center. http://www.dougy.org/  Not that we're dealing with death but they also deal with children who are affected by severe illnesses. Nice to know a resource, not that we find a need at the moment, but good to know it is there.

Still waiting on Foundation 1 testing on my tumor sample. I waited 3 weeks and then emailed since I was frustrated... they said they'd send when they knew anything.

Can't believe we've been home over 11 weeks and I'm not on anything I was hoping to be on. I'm happy I'm doing Mannatech and I have faith that it is helping heal my immune system, but man I'm annoyed with delays here in the US.

Hope everyone is gettin' along and finds those moments of joy all over their days!
Thanks for journeying with me...

Favorite book arrived from Hong Kong

Unproductive, can't really move days

I am really, really tired of sick leave.
I was tired of sick leave last year.
Twice. It was already torture I was happy to put into my past...
I am tired of feeling unproductive.
I am tired of being stuck in bed.
I am tired of side effects bringing me down.
Tired, tired, tired.

Today, Monday, was a not-so-fun day. I took anti-nausea medicine. It throws me off.
Sundays confuse me- I have energy and a little ambition. I put together to-do lists for Monday and then laugh at myself (and honestly get a little frustrated at myself) when Monday rolls around and I can't do anything on the list. Especially when the list includes things I find really important. My husband just looks at me when I mention to him about my frustration and says "Monday, Debbie, Monday you need rest." He's right. I'm just frustrated is all.
I enjoyed watching tv shows and reading a magazine. 
My brain wouldn't concentrate on reading beyond that. It wouldn't even give me focus time for writing.
I somehow cleared out my emails by the evening though.
I enjoyed a few picture books that my wonderful assistant sent home with my son. Snuggle reading with the kiddo is always a good pick-me-up.
I actually worked on my other blog a little bit.
I Skyped with my friend who is coming to visit and help me out this Friday.
So I did actually do 'stuff' but man am I sick of sick leave. 
I love work. I love teaching. It is my passion. I'm living vicariously through my blogging friend's posts and conversations about inspiring things they're doing with their students. Can't wait to get back to work when I have energy/am allowed.

I think when I don't leave the apartment it is worse but I'm just not up for adventuring on my own on Mondays after chemo, too paranoid now. Don't want to misjudge my energy and collapse somewhere random.

I found out that my oncologist is off for a one day work trip to the US on Saturday. This means I had to change my chemotherapy day. So I'm having it early, this Thursday instead.
Ruffled my feathers at first to be honest because I was just starting to understand and read what was going on with my body... and I didn't want to break the routine. I do consider it a mixed blessing because when my wonderful friend arrives, she'll be dealing with some terrible jet lag and my worst days will be days she'll need for rest/recovery anyways. We've already planned to watch many movies together. Looking forward to friend time. 

One good friend wrote me and I loved what she said: "I wish you moments of forgetting, even briefly, that you are sick." 

Isn't that lovely? I agree, those moments of forgetting will be cherished. It is hard to forget, especially when I'm curled up in bed unable to move. But, I will try tomorrow- if my body allows- to get the heck out of the apartment for at least a few minutes to walk around. Getting out and about does help me sometimes forget for a moment and just enjoy the day. Hong Kong weather is H-O-T but so beautiful right now. I hope to enjoy it a smidgen...

Qigong in the evening will be a welcome distraction to refocus my mind, breathing, and energy. So grateful I learned about it and that I have friends willing to come to my apartment and take the class with me... Being surrounded with friendly smiles, hugs, and support is simply a blessing.

Wishing everyone a wonderful day, thanks for journeying with me, even on the lower, weaker days...