Listening to Fatigue

Appreciated these 40 questions to quiet your mind.
Mind quieting is a good thing.
My mind is a busy one... needs quieting here and there.
http://www.marcandangel.com/2015/08/05/40-questions-that-will-quiet-your-mind/

Appreciated reading about another cancer patient who is also dealing with a "can't be cured" diagnosis and her fatigue. I'm working hard to listen to my body and understand when I need a break. Today we were at a street fair and I went thru that shakey/sweaty feeling where I knew I just needed to lie down. Can't lie down in the middle of the street... so we caught a bicycle cart ride (free, woohoo!) back to the street we parked on.  Was quite grateful that the street fair has that as a bonus. **It was darn hot out and I wasn't sure if I was just overheated vs fatigued... was simply listening and acting on what my body was asking for... Sad because I was hoping to get to a favorite bookstore and wander a bit more but I'm listening. My husband drove us home and I rested and felt better after a few hours.
Here's that blogger's post on fatigue:
https://patcadigan.wordpress.com/2015/08/07/cancer-fatigue/

So, I'm doing ok.
The tumor isn't the scary one that cannot be biopsied.  Still is a terrible cancer tumor and such but at least they can get a sample.
The doctor's office took a few too many days (in my opinion) to tell me the results of that urine test and schedule the biopsy. Taught me I need to be really assertive and call/email right away.
I'm going for that biopsy of my adrenal gland on Tuesday August 11th. Last year I had a biopsy of my lung on August 13th- our wedding anniversary... I'm grateful the 11th isn't a "big day". Enough of those. Huge operation 2 years ago on my birthday sucked. No more.

Well.
Getting thru the days. Enjoying time with family. Appreciating being able to simply drive over to my sister's home, parent's home, friend's homes and visiting... even Skyping when time zones are closer is a beautiful thing...

Saw my acupunturist on Friday, I love my time with her. A healthy presence and I feel like what she does helps... I also recently got my teeth cleaned and checked and I don't have to deal with a skin graft on my gum, I fully recovered from the problems I was dealing before. I also found out I was able to stay away from getting more cavities, hooray for determination and maintenance. I'm very careful with my teeth, always have been... I'm also trying a new nutritional supplement program to help my immune system out... so far my body is mostly tolerating it. Happy to be doing something proactive vs all reactive...

Thanks for journeying with me....

Thank you so much to all companies that funded free rides... was a relief to catch this!

There's no place like home

Being home is quite a blessing.

I miss our friends back in Hong Kong but I do not miss slow elevators, apartment living, or pollution. I do miss walking to places vs. all the driving it takes to do things… It is lovely to be back in our old home after three years away. Quite a relief to have our dog home with us happy and healthy. Being able to go visit my family members or simply call them on the phone is beautiful.

We’re adjusting to life well enough here in Oregon. I love the temperature, feels pretty darn good to have a cool breeze. Getting together with friends and former colleagues is special too.

We now have some furniture and I got pictures up all over, so it feels more like a home now. Cannot believe how many books we’ve saved, I’ve unpacked them and am taking my time with various projects before I enjoy organizing them all.

I’m excited to have a job in my old school district, this time with a heavier focus on technology which is just fine, looking forward to having a new work home to settle in. Waiting on a few boxes to arrive from Hong Kong and organized another workbox at home to bring in… Not much since I cleared out and scanned everything that was important to me three years ago.

Today I went to my new oncologist. There is no miracle cure. There is no real solution presently for me- especially since I have metastatic cervical cancer; there are no trials presently for this cancer. I told my oncologist that I was frustrated to not find any people that have my cancer/stage to follow and learn about trials from and he said that’s because they are dead… Honesty. I’ll take it, I guess. He also said that if I did nothing, my tumors are in places that could grow for the next year and I could have around a year or so of life without any treatment… hmm. Abysmal but at least we have thoughts on things…

The oncologist said that he’d refer me to three specialists- cardio-thoracic surgeon to see about removing the lymph node up behind my lung on my back- my oncologist liked the idea of at least getting a sample of the lymph node for genetic testing… (I immediately thought about my nightmare experience with the needle sticking out of my side with the biopsy on my lung a year ago- in and out of the CT scanner with that needle sticking out- hold your breath, don’t breath, ok, now breathe… ech. But I know this is a very different area to biopsy/operate on… nerve wracking anyway…)

He wants me to meet with a radiation oncologist to see if it is even feasible to radiate the lymph node – if this lymph node is anywhere close to the other radiated area, can’t do it, shall see.

And also I will be sent to another doctor who is facilitating medical trials on immunotherapy. All the immunotherapy drugs presently on the market are more for others like breast cancer, lung cancer, skin cancer patients, not at all cervical cancer, so there’s a long shot for finding anything that might fit me. Shall see. I’m good with trying to find that long shot. My oncologist wasn’t certain what might be going on with my other tumor on the adrenal gland. He’s not as concerned with that tumor as he is the lymph node in my chest cavity since that lymph node can cause more problems quicker.

I need to research on immunotherapy options myself as well. My oncologist said that he’ll do his research and try to find as many options and possibilities for me. He said, “I can tell, you are the type of person who wants to explore every option. You won’t be happy unless you feel like you’ve left no stone unturned.” Very true. I explore, I research, I care.

So… here I am. Home. Adjusting. Appreciating life. Not adventuring much yet. More just enjoying the day-to-day life experience. Not quite relaxing yet but I’ll get there. Organizing is one of my specialties, so I’m enjoying the energy and stamina I have to complete projects. I love being able to do things right the first time if possible. Getting things sorted so that we can locate and enjoy them later is a beautiful thing… Happy to have a little time to do so. Now, also want to make more time to read again, books are beckoning and the public library is just a hop up the street. We don’t really have internet for another week, but finding ways around that presently but can't upload any pictures to accompany this post... I'll be flexible...

Thanks as always for journeying with me.